Archives For Screwtape

Screwtape(Image source: end time info)

Well hello there, it’s been a while hasn’t it?

In the absence of our good host I thought I’d just pop in and offer some advice on how to use statistics for requirements compliance. Now of course what I mean by requirements compliance is that ticklish situation where the customer has you over the proverbial barrel with an eye-gouger of a requirement. What to do, what to do. Well dear reader all is not lost, what one can do is subtly rework the requirement right in front of the customer without them even recognising it…

No! I hear you say, ‘how can this wonder be achieved Screwtape?’

Well it’s really quite simple, when one understands that requirements are to a greater or lesser extent ‘operationally’ defined by their method of verification. That means that just as requirements belong to the customer so too should the method one uses to demonstrate that you’ve met them. Now if you’re in luck the customer doesn’t realise this, so you propose adopting a statistical proof  of compliance, throw in some weaselling about process variability, based on the median of a sample of tests. Using the median is important as it’s more resistant to outlier values, which is what we want to obfuscate (obviously). As the method of verification defines the requirement all of a sudden you’ve taken the customer’s deterministic requirement and turned it into a weaker probabilistic one. Even better you now have psychological control over half of the requirement, ah the beauty of psychological framing effects.

Now if you’ll excuse me all this talk of statistics has reminded me that I have some souls to reap over at the Australian Bureau of Statistics*.Mmm, those statisticians, their souls are so dry and filled with tannin, just like a fine pinot noir.

Till the next time. Yours infernally,

Screwtape

*Downstairs senior management were not amused by having to fill out their name and then having a census checker turn up on their doorstep asking whether they were having a lend of the ABS.

Screwtape(Image source: end time info)

How to deal with those pesky high risks without even trying

Screwtape here,

One of my clients recently came to me with what seemed to be an insurmountable problem in getting his facility accepted despite the presence of an unacceptably high risk of a catastrophic accident. The regulator, not happy, likewise all those mothers with placards outside his office every morning. Most upsetting. Not a problem said I, let me introduce you to the Screwtape LLC patented cut and come again risk refactoring strategy. Please forgive me now dear reader for without further ado we must do some math.

Risk is defined as the loss times probability of loss or R = L x P (1), which is the reverse of expectation, now interestingly if we have a set of individual risks we can add them together to get the total risk, for our facility we might say that total risk is R_f = (R_1 + R_2 + R_3 … + R_n). ‘So what Screwtape, this will not pacify those angry mothers!’ I hear you say? Ahh, now bear with me as I show you how we can hide, err I mean refactor, our unacceptable risk in plain view. Let us also posit that we have a number of systems S_1, S_2, S_3 and so on in our facility… Well instead of looking at the total facility risk, let’s go down inside our facility and look at risks at the system level. Given that the probability of each subsystem causing an accident is (by definition) much less, why then per system the risk must also be less! If you don’t get an acceptable risk at the system level then go down to the subsystem, or equipment level.

The fin de coup is to present this ensemble of subsystem risks as a voluminous and comprehensive list (2), thereby convincing everyone of the earnestness of your endeavours, but omit any consideration of ensemble risk (3). Of course one should be scrupulously careful that the numbers add up, even though you don’t present them. After all there’s no point in getting caught for stealing a pence while engaged in purloining the Bank of England! For extra points we can utilise subjective measures of risk rather than numeric, thereby obfuscating the proceedings further.

Needless to say my client went away a happy man, the facility was built and the total risk of operation was hidden right there in plain sight… ah how I love the remorseless bloody hand of progress.

Infernally yours,

Screwtape

Notes

1. Where R = Risk, L = Loss, and P = Probability after De’Moivre. I believe Screwtape keeps De’Moivre’s heart in a jar on his desk. (Ed.).

2. The technical term for this is a Preliminary Hazard Analysis.

3. Screwtape omitted to note that total risk remains the same, all we’ve done is budgeted it out across an ensemble of subsystems, i.e. R_f = R_s1 + R_s2 + R_s3 (Ed.).